Living in constant combat is hell.
I AM HAPPY. Let's get that straight now before I have to listen to the whole, "If you're not happy just leave blahblahblah." CRAP. Quitting is for losers and divorcees. Love is much too precious a thing to throw away, especially when my baby is affected. I hate fighting. I hate mistrust. I hate knowing that I am a good person and a great mom, and it's still not enough. I love my life, and I know exactly who I want to spend it with, but I can't take the constant war.
The past is bleak, ugly. If the future is a perfect blank canvas, why is the ugliness constantly being smeared across it? It's irrelevant. I want so bad to forget the hurt and move on. It can't be as hard as it is being made.
Quit with the suspicion. I'm completely, 100% faithful. I haven't done or said a word that should jeopardize our love. So, relax. Breathe. Take a second. Please.
Freedom is sitting there on the negotiation table. Take it. I would understand. All I want is your happiness, and if I'm not I'm not what you want---GO. Find. Your. Happy.
I miss the man I fell in love with; I miss feeling like the person you fell in love with.
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